EMOTIONAL SAFETY
A deep-dive into Neville Goddard’s lecture on the
“9 Boundaries for Women in Relationships”
As I am just coming off a series based on self-abandonment, Spirit put the next perfect couple of episodes on my heart…
BOUNDARIES.
So, our first step in transformation is awareness, in other words, becoming aware of what we desire or need to be different based on how we feel or think about ourselves, our lives, or our relationships. In that case, the next step is doing the work necessary to implement change. So, the first step is recognizing we want or need to change, and the second step is beginning the work to make the changes.
One of the best ways to make changes in our lives is to recognize where we need to set up guidelines or boundaries that will help us live the abundant lives we want and have the type of healthy, loving relationships we want.
Neville Goddard does this fantastic lecture on boundaries.
He addresses 9 – give or take- boundaries he believes are necessary for a Woman’s connection to the Divine and herself and her relationships. While many of these boundaries are written in the context of a romantic relationship, I believe they are excellent guidelines for one’s self. For the sake of the following several blogs, I will use my discretion and combine several of Goddard’s boundaries. The lecture is not written and jumps a bit, so while this is based on his work, it is my interpretation of his ideas.
THE 9 BOUNDARIES
Emotional Safety
Time and space
Personal Values
Communication
Financial Independence
Spiritual Beliefs
Conflict
Trust and honesty
Personal growth
“In the quiet of every heart lies a knowing, a pulse that guides and protects. This inner wisdom is the voice of boundaries so powerful but gentle urging every woman to honor herself fully. Boundaries are not walls, but invitations whispering… I am here, worthy of respect, worthy of love that sees me as I am. Boundaries are not about limiting, they are about defining the sacred space that is each Woman’s essence. A garden cultivated through self-awareness and love.”
-Neville Goddard
LET’S START WITH the boundary around Emotional Safety.
I mean, why would he or we start anywhere else when this is the equivalent of Maslow’s Theory of the hierarchy of needs? According to this theory, after our physiological needs (air, food, shelter, water, and sleep) are essential, the next critical need is to feel safe and secure. Maslow has met this need regarding health, employment, property, family, and social ability.
*I want to put my two cents in and say with absolute belief that my emotional safety is just as important as any of these other areas. I believe that the level of emotional safety we feel directly affects our health, the type of work we do, our finances, and our relationships. Putting our emotional health and safety at the top of our priority list is an ABSOLUTE must create a life of abundance.
So, in the past month, I have discussed many ways we self-abandon when it comes to our emotions. Hopefully, this created some awareness of where you may not be meeting your emotional needs or ignoring them altogether.
Now it is time to do the work of what needs to change to no longer self-abandon around your emotional safety.
The “umbrella” boundary of emotional safety encompasses so many essential elements. In my interpretation, Goddard’s broader subject or boundary of emotional safety includes the following:
GODDARD BELIEVED…
“The essence of a woman lies in her ability to love deeply, and yet this love should never require her to diminish her light or betray her own needs. A love that demands her silence, that requires her to compromise her essence, is a love built on illusions. True love invites her to be fully seen and deeply known.”
To be “known” by another, we must know ourselves.
How exactly do we know ourselves?
By knowing what we are feeling and how to handle those emotions. Our emotions help us to identify what we need. When we know what we need, we can meet our needs or ask for help when necessary. It is not anyone else’s responsibility to know what we feel or need; that is up to us.
However, it is essential to set boundaries so that those we are in a relationship with listen to what we are feeling, what we need, and what we desire. This is how we create emotional intimacy, sharing ourselves with another. And having that other person not only hear us but also listen to us, see us, and acknowledge us.
And remember, this can only happen after we have done this for ourselves. We never need to betray our needs or compromise ourselves or our essence- the energy of who we truly are. Having such a strong sense of self, of who we are as Divine beings, means we can trust ourselves and what we sense in our souls.
Part of what makes us feel emotionally safe is knowing that nothing compares to our connection with the Divine and our Soul…
the part of us that is in deep connection with the Divine always.
Trusting in God and ourselves as our abundantly providing Source ensures that we don’t get caught in the trap of looking outside ourselves to people, money, and circumstances to keep us safe. When we know our worth and value and make choices from this place of Divine connection, we create experiences aligned with our highest good.
Experiences that are based on love and trust and feel abundant. When we choose from a place of fear, lack, scarcity, and low self-esteem, we don’t choose what is best for us in the long run. We are looking outside of ourselves to meet an immediate need to feel safe rather than to God and our Soul Self.
“To stand as an equal with her partner rather than a lesser or an extension. She must trust herself enough to say nowhere no is necessary. To guard the sanctity of her spirit, for in that refusal lies her power and grace. For every woman, the boundary around her thoughts is sacred. In the quiet space of her mind, she nurtures her dreams, fears, and ambitions. This is a garden that no one else can enter without an invitation. A realm where she crafts the future she envisions for herself. Her partner should not seek to control her thoughts or mold her perspectives.”
—Neville Goddard
We must spend time with ourselves to create emotional safety within ourselves and our relationships
Time and space are necessary to cultivate a connection with our soul. Learning how to say no to all the excess, all the noise- at least for a little while is imperative. Having your own space and listening to your dreams and hopes will eventually guide you in your purpose. It will also grow trust, respect for yourself, and worth in yourself.
As Women, we often carry so much, but what is the purpose if it isn’t God’s plan for us but our plan for ourselves?
This is when we become an extension of other people. When the lines blur between who we authentically are, who we are trying to be, and who we are trying to please. This is where we get lost and become boundaryless.
Understanding that we are individuals, not extensions of those around us, is critical in creating emotional safety. It is easy to lose our sense of self when we are partnered, parents, workers, etc. But God created each one of us as individuals. While we are all connected and a part of a greater oneness, we each have our gifts and purpose. Growing that strong sense of self creates emotional safety and boundaries with those we love.
Saying you get to do you, and I get to do me. And while you may not be okay with my choices, I am OK with that. I can handle you not being happy with me, or not agreeing with me, or whatever the case may be. It means standing within ourselves, knowing we are in Divine guidance and can handle a bumpy ride when others may come against us.
I will leave you with one more quote from Goddard on the importance of the boundary of emotional safety...
“True partnership honors individuality in relationships. Merging minds does not mean erasing differences but celebrating them by safeguarding her mental space. A woman preserves her clarity, her intuition, and her vision- all of which are gifts she brings into her relationship.”
—Neville Goddard
As Women, we bring so much to our relationships and the lives of others when we are in our true essence in our Divine Feminine Energy.
Conversely, setting boundaries (Divine Masculine energy) is necessary to reach this space. Boundaries allow us to live as our most authentic selves.
The boundary-setting journey can be confusing, disorienting, and hard to navigate.
But if you’re ready for a sneak peek into what a personalized journey of support, education, and life-changing tools could look like, especially for YOU, let’s connect with a FREE DISCOVERY CALL today!