GROWING PAINS
“So warm…so comfy,” I thought…especially with Leafy (my yellow lab) snuggled up tight on my feet. Yet, all the while the snooze on my alarm continued to sing relentlessly on my nightstand.
“Noooooooo…just 5 more minutes,” I silently pleaded to the alarm gods. “It’s all so perfect here, in my cocoon of down and pillows.”
But the day, as it so often seems, had other plans.
Winter has officially begun to make its way to Northern Illinois. The mornings here are dark, and my beloved old house is still adjusting to its radiator heat. I’ve learned that I’m more open and receptive to the Divine Realm in early morning hours, which is often when I often hear Spirit more clearly.
So, as I lay in the quiet, knowing I only had a few more minutes until the day would force me out of bed, Spirit spoke to my heart...
“Do you realize that this is just like your Journey right now?” it whispered.
“Your bed is so comfortable, so warm, so safe. And that is a blessing, indeed, for warmth and comfort serve a very real purpose; they soothe your soul and usher in much-needed rest.
But you can’t stay here, Elizabeth,” it urged.
“To remain in the comfort and security would mean missing out on what is meant for you today. It would mean missing out on what you are meant to share with others, and all the adventures that are lying in wait for YOU.
So, yes…it’s going to be uncomfortable at first (to get out of bed)…a little cold, a little daunting to get wrapped in your coat in order to get the dogs outside while the kettle boils…but trust Me.
You don’t want to miss the beauty and the vastness of the dark sky, the gorgeous moon losing its fullness with each passing minute, countless stars that still burning bright as you feel the cold air on your face and the stabilizing earth beneath your feet.
This is my gift to you…but sometimes, you have to go through the uncomfortable in order to receive it.”
Eventually I obliged (albeit, slowwwwly…).
I unloaded the dishwasher, gave the dogs their biscuits, and settled into my sunroom, snuggled up once again in a soft, warm blanket (with Leafy, of course, at my feet yet again), and with a hot cup of tea in my hands, I looked up at the moon.
As luck and architecture would have it, the moon before dawn shines right outside the windows of my sunroom- a reminder of the beauty of sacredness that is the dark nighttime.
And so I sat…in deep, immense gratitude for it all.
Gratitude for the knowing in my heart that while momentarily it felt good (really good) to stay in bed, in my comfort, I also knew that getting up to engage in my morning time rituals before settling in to the routine of the day was always worth it.
The connection to Spirit and to myself that I feel when I journal, meditate, read, and pray is what fills and sustains me. Therefore…
I don’t miss this time for anyone or anything, because I’ve learned that it sets me up for my day and creates the necessary connection and groundedness I know that I need.
The last few weeks have been challenging.
Since I have been on my Spiritual Awakening for the previous few years, my life is much less chaotic, much less busy, and much less filled with things that don’t hold significance. However, I still have times I live in these experiences.
I don’t enjoy it and wouldn’t say I like how I let myself get there. But I am still learning. I am still growing. These times are indicators that I have beliefs and patterns that need to change for me to continue on this Journey that is so sacred to me…
to live in alignment with my Spirit and my Soul…
to live fully in my purpose…
to live intentionally in all areas of my life…
…and to freaking LOVE IT!
Pain, however, remains unavoidable in the midst of such living.
You see, I’ve learned that growth generally involves some uncomfortableness (to say the least), and leaving behind what we know, what feels safe to us, what feels familiar- whether it is something we want or not
Yet , growth provides…
stepping into the unknown and trusting that our soul and Higher Power are guiding us toward…something much better than we could imagine
a chance to become more of our True Selves…closer to the Divine so that we can live out a Divine Purpose
Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself acutely aware of how…
things that once felt ok now no longer do
the places I thought I had healed emotionally still show up
certain dynamics and patterns of my past also show up now and again
…and it has been uncomfortable.
So, I go back to what I know will help me grow…
connecting with myself and Spirit and listening for guidance on my next step
slowing down to be in the stillness and solitude
pray, meditate, and journal
remembering the freedom on the other side of learning to become comfortable in the uncomfortable
By making different choices, I know I will be guided to the very place I desire to be, and so I take the leap of faith yet again…