SNOW IN APRIL
I woke up to snow this morning.
I knew it was coming, but it didn’t change the confusion I felt, as it had been almost 80 degrees and sunny every day last week. Saturday, my kids were playing with water guns outside, and I was sitting on our patio reading with the sun in my face and the wind in my hair. Today (Monday), I wore a hat, gloves, and snow boots while walking my dogs on the snowy golf course.
“Why is there snow on the ground now, Mom?” my daughter asked when she woke up.
My answer to her was, “Mother Nature must have gotten confused, my love, but she’ll make it right; by this afternoon, it will all be melted.”
And sure enough, as I write this, I can see the snow melting outside my kitchen window. The grass is showing its greenness again, and the sun is peeking through the clouds to warm up all the budding flowers and trees.
They say Spring in the Midwest gifts you everything from sun and warmth to rain, dampness, snow, and cold.
I find that I can relate to Mother Nature’s confusion and the various roller coaster of changes in the weather. My confusion and my emotions mirror what is happening outside, or maybe the outside conditions are a mirror of me.
But upon further consideration, perhaps Mother Nature isn’t so confused after all; maybe She sees me in all my ups and downs, sadness, understanding, confusion, calmness, and fear.
As I have been on this journey of becoming - this awakening, rediscovering, and reclaiming parts of myself that I abandoned, avoided, or hadn’t developed yet - my days have mostly been filled with ups and downs of emotions while navigating real life…starting a business, getting coaching certifications, being a mom, being a wife, keeping a home, doing this growth work. I’m reminded that this journey, one that’s both necessary and far from over, has yielded the most challenging two years of my life.
It has been like snow in April.
I find myself delving into (and oscillating between) my own personal journey, writing, reading, therapy, coaching, and real-life…sometimes within the same hour. I uncover insanely important information, wanting to just sit in it and wonder… only to realize the time and immediately shift into “mom mode” to pick up the kids and get my daughter to volleyball. I’ll have a few minutes to read the book that will shed light on my mother-daughter issues, drive home, cook dinner, and fold laundry. All while my body and mind are experiencing the spectrum of emotions, I am putting my tools to work to calm my anxiety and ensure I am not letting my vibration fall too low to interfere with my manifesting abilities.
It’s EXHAUSTING…but it’s WORKING.
I am sifting through, releasing what needs to be released, reclaiming my knowing and my heart, feeling my confidence, purpose, and groundedness creep back in, and I remember that this “work” is working.
And so I realize…the weather is perfect. The sun and warmth, the snow and cold, can coexist in beautiful synchronicity. Complex, yes; easy to understand, no. But nonetheless, the trees are still budding under a blanket of gray clouds as the sun slowly begins to show its face, and I know...
it’s all working precisely as it was designed to do, and that brings me peace.